When you screw up, saying “sorry” is an important part of protecting your relationship. But, as sociologist Maja Jovanovic pointed out in her popular TEDxTrinityBellwoodsWomen talk in 2019, you might be overdoing it.

In one extreme case, for example, her research assistant found herself apologizing to the pizza delivery guy for his being late. (“Oh my gosh, we live in a new subdevelopment. I’m so sorry. Did you have trouble finding this place?”)

Let’s put a stop to this, Jovanovic urges. After all, saying “sorry” too much diminishes us, and it risks undermining our self-esteem.

There are different ways of going about it. One of Jovanovic’s practical suggestions is to replace “sorry” with “thank you” — as in “thank you for waiting” in lieu of “sorry for the slight delay.”

Read today’s nugget, by TED’s Daniella Balarezo, to learn more!